Old Jokes

Found this as I was going through the archives searching for something else. It is part of a Red Nose Day Lecture from 2001. If you find any of these funny you are very old….

Little Known Programming Languages

Threetran

- a precursor to Fortran. Programs are written on punched tablets.

Failscal

- similar to Pascal, but is so strongly typed that nothing ever compiles.

C--

- an attempt to take all the dangerous things out of C. The language syntax contains just the open and close curly bracket symbols.

Invisible Basic

- all the program code is stored behind one button on the screen, which is hidden.

Fifth

- a stack based language which uses a much stronger spring on the stack so that programs run faster.

Nescafe

- create secure, distributed, object oriented, platform independent, multi-threaded programs just by adding hot water, rather than grinding beans.

C Flat

- an early version of C#. Also called Microsoft Java.

Disassembler

- used to write machine code programs which fall apart very quickly.

AMLOG

- similar to PROLOG, but used by AI programmers who aren't actually being paid.