EX Marks the Spot

Went to see "Xmen, The Last Stand" tonight. When number one daughter got back from it she told us "I don't think they'll make another one". Having viewed the film, I can see what she means.

The thing that struck me first was how many of the cast become "ex-men" so early in the show. Barely have the credits finished than staple members of the team are being sent off to various untimely ends. Things get so bad that we have to call up the reserves in the form of a nervous looking lass who can run through walls and a chap whose special mutant power seems to be the ability to wrap himself and others in tin foil. Useful on a Sunday when preparing the chicken, but not much beyond that I would have thought. When they finally resorted to getting Frasier and covering him in blue fur I'm afraid the movie lost just about all its credibility as far as I was concerned.

On the baddie side we had the newly arrived Vinnie Jones as Juggernaut, who had the power to act like Ant and Dec in the credits for their Saturday show. Actually, power to act is probably putting it a bit strong. As far as I'm concerned, the next time they let him get involved in a film he should just be permitted to stay behind the camera and make the tea very quietly.

Anyhoo,  pretty soon there was lots of mayhem and tear jerking in just about equal parts. Lessons about life were learned. And life for lots of extras was dramatically shortened. Things happened for no particular reason and then it went quiet again. And then the film ended, with a fairly stupid hint that there will be more to come. As if. 

Slightly less mindless than the Fantastic Four. Not in the same country (let alone street) as Spiderman. But on balance, worth a visit I reckon.

The DaVinci Code as a force for good

Went to see "The DaVinci Code" tonight. I'm the one person left who hasn't read the book, (I did this specially so I could approach the film with an open mind). It is an OK film staring Tom Hanks, his hair (which I think deserves special billing) and Audrey Tatou (who seems to have attended the "Allo Allo" school of acting specially for her part). It was directed by that red headed kid from Happy Days.

I knew something was up when one of the dodgy cardinals turned out to be Dr. Octopus from Spiderman. OK, so he had dropped down to the normal number of limbs but there was no mistaking that leer and wonky accent.  Things got even stranger when the symbol of one of the mysterious sects turned out to be the same as is used by the Boy Scouts in the UK. In fact I remember having a woggle with the same emblem on when I was a kid. If  only I'd known what I was getting into....

Then we were into a maelstrom of double dealing detectives, secret banks, image processed artworks, strange codes, flights across europe and lots of other staples of the adventure movie.  The killer albino monk with a penchant for Mr. Whippy added a certain extra something to the proceedings, although I've been wondering how you fight against someone who enjoys pain as much as he seemed to. Give him a cushion? Perhaps a nice cup of tea? Tricky.

Everything moved at breakneck speed, almost in real time. Nobody paused for breath. I only saw them actually eat once, and that was interrupted by a raid by the french police. These people had the stamina of true academics.  Normally there is a lull in the action when you get to know the characters a bit. Not in this film. I don't think that Audrey got to take her coat off at any point.

Even with my lack of foreknowledge spotting the baddie turned out to be even easier than usual. A clue: It isn't Tom. Or Audrey.

There has been a lot of talk in the press about how the underlying tenet of the movie strikes at the very heart of the christian religion. Well, all I can say is that any church that feels under threat from a very implausible story with holes in it through which you could drive a double decker bus with an oil tanker on its roof rack is indeed in trouble.

If you sit through it to the end (and everybody in the packed cinema seemed to manage this) you will find a rather uplifting message concerning the importance of faith above all else.  Which only added value to the experience.